A question I get asked time and time again is if I am afraid.
“Are you afraid to be gone that long?”
“Aren’t you afraid for your safety?”
“Are you afraid you won’t know what to do when you get back?”
“What is it that you are scared of, why are you running away?”
And the answer to all of those questions is that I am not. I am not afraid to be away for a long time (because I will stay in touch with my loved ones), I am not afraid for my safety (because I believe in humanity and I trust myself), I am not afraid that I won’t know what to do when I return home (because the universe is powerful), I am not running away because I am scared (I am running away because life is too beautiful to waste in an unhappy cubicle – the world is far too beautiful).
Afraid. Scared. Nervous.
I am not those.
But I did want to tell you what I am afraid of because I know one thing for sure and that is I am not afraid to travel.
I am afraid of:
Losing anyone that I love.
Losing faith in humanity
Taking this life for granted.
Having no sense of humor.
Choosing items over people.
I AM VERY AFRAID of losing sight of who I am.
In this world that is consumed with social media it has become so important for many of us to paint the perfect picture of ourselves – when it is clear that we are not perfect. Perfection is not something that can be attained – it cannot be captured and paraded around. But in the most contradicting way it is our imperfection that makes us perfect. Perfect the way that we are, with our weird pinky toes, crooked smiles and annoying quirks.
I wish the definition of perfect was happy. So when you called someone a perfectionist it was because they were doing everything they could to be happy. More people would be happy. Because happy people are perfect and perfect people are happy.
I am afraid to lose myself to the “american dream,” I am afraid of losing faith in myself, I am afraid of being unhappy, I am afraid of losing interest in life, I am afraid of being judgmental, I am afraid of being judged, I am afraid of being alone, I am afraid of a lot of things, I am basically a big scaredy cat, a worry wart. I am afraid of all the normal things that any 20-something year-old is worried about. But it just fuels my passion for life. It pushes me to put my phone down and spend quality time with my family and friends, it pushes me to spend time outside, it pushes me to make memories.
Wow, well this post turned sappy really fast.
But really it is your fault because you kept asking.
What are you afraid of? Let me know, maybe I can help!
I am afraid (of not living a life that I am proud of).
And so far I am pretty darn proud. You should be too.